So You Didn't Hit Your 2016 Goal(s)...What Happens Now?
I know...2016 was your year right?
You did everything the self help books and gurus on social media told you to do. You spent money you didn't really have on hiring a coach, you invested in programs that promised to help you with your weaknesses, you joined all the Facebook groups, got crystal clear about what you wanted, set the date by which it should happen, watched a shit ton of webinars. said your goals out loud three times a day, prayed, did the rain dance and whatever else you were told would take you to the next level.
Now here you are at the end of the year, feeling no better than you did this time last year. Meanwhile, everyone else is winning with seemingly not half the effort that you put into your goals. You're still ducking Sallie Mae like the plague because you and "broke" are still besties. You're mad that you didn't listen to your Grandma that time in fifth grade when she told you to be a lawyer or doctor. You'd be so much better off if you had just picked a safe career, collected your paycheck and died eventually. So much less riskier than your impossible dream to break the mold and create the unconventional life that you truly desire, right?
Negative self talk is kicking your ass right about now!
You should have done things differently. What if you had done just one thing differently? You should have went right instead of left.
Why couldn't you just work up the courage to be a stripper? As per instagram, they're doing it big!
Every night as you lay in bed, you go over all the things you did wrong, why your life sucks and then log on to social media only to realize that you're right - your life is terrible in comparison to everyone else.
2016 ends in like three minutes, you know for sure that this years goals are a bust. Dammit! If your dreams don't come true by the 31st, they never will.
So what happens now?
First of all...BREATHE. I promise you, it's not that bad. Here's why:
Can we please clap it up that you even created these goals in the first place? It means that you desire more for your life. You want growth! That's a good thing. While it may feel like you're in the same place today that you were on this very same day last year, an introspective look into the past 12 months of your life will reveal how far you've really come.
You know so much more today than you did last year!
All those books you read that you're ready to throw into the fireplace tonight because they didn't yield the results you thought they should, have made you more knowledgeable than you may have realized. Same goes for the course investments and all the webinars that you signed up for every time a shiny Facebook ad popped up. The problem may not be that you don't know enough. Ask yourself, have you been implementing all the information you've soaked up this year?
Make 2017 your year of implementation!
It doesn't matter how much you know if you don't actually use the information, right?
You also need to learn how to be more flexible about your goals. This is coming from a control freak who ignored her contraction app's direction to head to the hospital because she needed to complete her to do list for the day. I know, lots of self help books and gurus will tell you to have a timeline and plan everything down to the minute, but things don't typically work out on our time. Trying to make things happen according to a time line that you've created can drive you crazy, I've been there. Let it go!
I'm not saying that your goal is impossible and that it will never happen. I'm saying to ask yourself, is it realistic for it to happen by December 31st? If not, how much less anxiety would you feel if you just allowed yourself to be free of this expectation you've put on yourself.
Here are a couple questions to ask yourself before moving forward:
- So the goal(s) you set for yourself back in January, do you still want the same thing today or have you been on autopilot for so long that you haven't thought about it?
- Do you ACTUALLY want the things that you're striving for, or are you creating a life based on external approval. Are you doing things to make others happy (your parents, society, etc.) or maybe to create a certain image on social media? Do YOU really want the things you're working towards?
RECOMMENDED LISTENING FOR THIS TOPIC: How Approval, Love + External Sources Affect Intuition by Jess Lively
Most importantly, stop being so hard on yourself. I know it's easier said than done, however the stress that you're putting on yourself under is breaking you down mentally, and maybe even physically. Secondly, the negative self talk is blocking your creativity and only further embedding doubt in your abilities. Stress and pressure is not serving you at all!
So what now?
You don't have to quit, but you can take a break to re-evaluate and get in alignment with what feels more purposeful for you.
After you've done some soul searching and possibly experience your come to Jesus moment - you have to get back on the horse and try again. Life isn't over. Your goals are still attainable.
...maybe there's something even BIGGER waiting for you than what you envisioned for yourself.
I know there's all this sexy talk about accomplishing goals, but sometimes they don't happen and we shouldn't feel less than when they don't.
Go to bed tonight knowing that you are enough whether or not you accomplish this goal.
Be gentle with yourself.
Be flexible with your goals.
Detach yourself from outcomes.
Separate your self worth from your accomplishments - or lack there of - and instead judge yourself by your character and how you treat others.
It's going to be ok, I promise.
I'm not saying to not be ambitious, I'm asking you to recognize if you're in a state of flow (the path of least resistance) or are you forcing things to happen? I'm asking you if December 31st is going to determine how you feel about yourself and the year ahead.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT YOUR GOAL(S)? DID YOU ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO THIS YEAR? HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT IT?