How To Be Confident And Dress Well When You're Not At Your Goal Weight
It seems like "Body Acceptance" is the theme for this week. You guys know I love to keep it 100% real with you and share my frustrations, but I also make it a point to provide solutions as well. Because what's the point of complaining if we don't create a way to make a change and actually follow through? As I mentioned in my "Whatever Yo" post, there have been countless times that I've allowed my weight to keep me from living my life to the fullest. Whether I've skipped gatherings or turned down opportunities, it doesn't feel good to know that I didn't do something because I was too insecure about how I looked. If you're in that negative space where I once was, here's how you get out of it:
Be Thankful For Your Body //
Happiness and confidence is an inside job, it comes from within. Someone can tell you a million times a day that you're beautiful but if YOU don't actually believe it, it means nothing right? You have to look inside yourself and maybe even in the mirror as well and be thankful for a functioning body. So you don't look like Beyonce or whoever, that's ok! Be grateful that that your heart is working, that you're able to breathe on your own, that you have legs to walk on your own, fingers that can grasp things - do I need to keep going? You are Blessed and you have to really understand that. Perhaps you're a new mom beating herself up about your new body, but that body was a vessel for new life. That's major! And not everyone gets the opportunity to do that - be thankful. Appreciate your body, there are so many other challenges it could be presenting to you besides not looking the way you want it to at this moment.
Find Part(s) Of Your Body To Embrace //
No matter who you are, there is something about your body that somebody out there is dying to have. If you have a juicy booty - people are LITERALLY dying to have what you have! Perhaps it's your full lips, your legs, or maybe even those boobies that you're trying so hard to cover (people pay thousands of dollars for those) - you have something. Everyone does. Maybe you have to stare in the mirror for a while and talk to yourself, but that's totally fine because I can guarantee you will walk away appreciating something new about your body.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others //
I know this can be quite the challenge, especially with social media being such a big part of our lives. It's easy to scroll through instagram and see these girls with seemingly perfect bodies or moms who give birth and hop in their size 4 the next day like it's nothing. Here's the thing, we all have different body types and genetic makeup. Genetically, I can't be a size 2 unless I completely dedicate my life to fitness and obsess over every single thing that I eat. There's no reason for me to compare myself to someone who is naturally thinner or leaner than I. And yes, I could have a "woe is me" session and ask God why I couldn't be Blessed in that way - and I have - but that's not going to help me in any way. It's counterproductive. So stop comparing yourself to your sister, your auntie, your friend or the girl on instagram - it's a waste of time. You can use that energy to do the following...
Purchase Clothing That Compliments Your Body NOW //
It's impossible to feel confident when you're trying to squeeze into clothes that don't fit or are unflattering for your body. That would make anybody feel bad about themselves. Go through your closet and get rid of the items that aren't complimentary to your current shape. You can put them to one side and look at them as your goal wardrobe for when you get to your desired size, but leave them alone for now. When you look good, you feel good right? Go out there and purchase some new items for your closet that are your current size and show off those amazing assets that we discovered earlier.
Let's be clear, I'm not telling you to charge $1,000 on your card to build an entirely new wardrobe. What I'm saying is to create a small budget to get some staple pieces that you mix and match to create several outfits. Thrift shops and affordable stores like Forever 21, Old Navy, H&M and even Target will have fashionable options that won't leave you scrambling to pay rent on the 1st. You can always sell or donate some of these pieces and invest in new ones once they no longer fit.
I'd suggest investing in following:
- A Blazer - a black one is always good, but I LOVE a white blazer or solid colors as well
- A Great Pair Of Jeans
- Black Pants
- A Denim Shirt
- White tees
- Crisp Whit Button Down Blouse
- A wrap dress
- (For Summer) Shorts & Skirts With Elastic Waistbands - that way they can shrink with you
You can create a myriad of different looks with these wardrobe that will take you from work to play dates, and even a night out with your love. Having tons of accessories on deck will help solidify your look as well. You could wear the same outfit a dozen times and have it look completely different when paired with different shoes, necklaces, hats, etc. Have fun with it!
Eat Well + Get Moving...Stop Dwelling //
The fact of the matter is, if we don't like how we look, we have the power to change it. If it is your goal to be leaner, stronger and/or faster, YOU CAN DO IT. Make better food choices and get moving. You can join a gym, workout at home or even start a walking club with your friends. Skip the drive thru and prepare meals at home that are yummy yet guilt free. Making these changes starts with changing your mindset, and once you're body is fueled with whole foods, and energized from exercise (even a light workout), you will feel even better about yourself. Remember, slow progress is better than no progress, so don't beat yourself as you adapt. It takes time to educate ourselves, break habits and becoming an even better version of ourselves.