The New York Trip
In February 2012 I packed my bags, hopped on a plane and left New York. During that period of my life, I was extremely depressed, grieving heavily and trying to figure out why God was waking me up everyday. I hadn't been back since. For me, New York seemed like a landmine of triggers and bad memories. I was safe in Florida - far from the places that reminded me of my pregnancy with Jolie and the aftermath of it all. Out of the blue I was offered a business opportunity in NYC that I would've been crazy to turn down, so with a lump in my throat, I agreed to be apart of it and booked a ticket for myself and Grey.
I was also a little nervous about traveling with my little one. This was his first time on a plane and I wasn't sure how he was going to react to the air pressure or having to sit down for hours at a time. However, he was perfect for both plane rides, sleeping for the majority of both of them or talking to me about fire trucks. I made the mistake of not bringing a stroller with me but somehow I survived with the bags and baby since he's such a good listener. There's no way I'm forgetting the stroller next time though.
I had to take Grey to the house where I spent my 6 or 7 years of my life growing up in Long Island. I have so many memories on this porch and in the house with my friends. I can't tell you how many times my bed broke because we'd all get on their at once, lol.
On Saturday I hosted a Pop Up Shop for Jolie Bloom. This was the day that I missed having my husband the most as I tried to balance work and an active toddler. Thankfully his God Mommy was there to help and my dad showed up towards the end which freed my hands as the event got more hectic.
On Sunday we did the March of Dimes Walk in Suffolk which I'll share more about in an upcoming post.
I don't think I appreciated the town I grew up in as much as I should've when I lived there but it's such a beautiful place filled with some of my best memories.
Tuesday was Jolie Bloom's press day in the city which took everything out of me but it went amazing!
In this moment I'm feeling proud of myself for making the trip. I faced a lot of my fears although I couldn't bear to face the hospital where Jolie died as I drove past it. Having gone back to New York now as a mother, I started to picture what life would be like if we go back permanently. The option is on the table right now but I'm praying hard before making a decision. If you've been reading this blog for years I'm sure you know I've been back and worth to NY over the last ten years but now the stakes are so much higher. I know Grey is young enough to assimilate very quickly no matter but I know every decision we make as a family will ultimately shape the course of his life.
For now, I'm loving on my little guy and I had blast taking him on his first big adventure. He got meet my friends, hang out with his cousins, his aunt and of course his poppa.
Have You Faced Any Fears Lately?
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