My Rainbow Baby
A "rainbow baby" is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and giveshope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciatedhaving just experienced the storm in comparison.The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothingcan change that experience. Storm-clouds might still beoverhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, butsomething colourful and bright has emerged fromthe darkness and misery. (via URBAN DICTIONARY)
In the months following Jolie's short life, there was never a question between my husband and I about whether or not we'd try to conceive again. The issue was figuring out when would be the right time as we were buried deep in grief and knew that no other baby would replace her. Ultimately I just wanted her back. Now that I've become a mom to her little brother, I'm glad that I chose to move forward and put in the work to get better. What if I had given up? I would have missed out on this Blessing that I gave birth to just over a week ago. Looking at Grey, it appears that I've given birth to Jolie's clone. This was always something that I somewhat feared in my pregnancy - him physically reminding me of her every time I look in his face. Now that he's here however, looking at him brings me so much peace. Sometimes it's as though I'm looking at them both at the same time, but I know ultimately that he is his own person. While his birth has given me a new lease on life, I know there will still be days where missing his sister will bring me to tears - the emptiness will always be there. It is my hope however that he always knows how much I love him and how thankful I am to God that he trusted me to be his mommy. I can't change my path to motherhood but I know it was worth the journey.