37.6 : 15 days to go
I'm really starting to GET IT now...I'm REALLY about to have a baby...like any day now! Today during my now weekly appointment, my doctor surprisingly asked me if I wanted to be induced next Friday or Saturday. Let's skip the fact that he asked me that question and let's focus on point that I'm so far along that my baby can be born now and live. Yes I know what you might be thinking. How could you not understand what's happening with that big belly in front of you, you're ability to loose your breath at any moment and you barely have any balance? I'm a woman who gave birth too early last year and lost her child. I haven't quite grasped the concept that I can bring a baby to term. It's taken me a while to understand that this is something that I'm physically capable of doing. I know I'm pregnant and I know I've been pregnant for a long time, but at times it feels like an out of body experience.
When my doctor asked if I wanted to be induced I started crying because as they say, "sh*t got real" (for lack of a better phrase). This child that I'm carrying can be in my arms at any time now. I'm not going to lie to you, I also had a flashback of what labor felt like which scared me a little. I questioned if I should go ahead with my natural birth plan - all these thoughts ran through my head in a matter of seconds and I got overwhelmed.
As far as the induction, it's not a medical necessity so I feel no reason to rush the process. He's not too big or causing me any harm, so I'll let him arrive when he chooses to. Surprisingly I'm not tired of being pregnant as yet. It's hard to move around, pick things up and breathe sometimes, but I'm not over it. Not that this can't change in the next few days, lol. Thanks to watching The Business of Being Born, I was familiar with a lot of the terminology that the doctor was using in reference to explaining how an induction is done as well as the medications that he mentioned. If you're thinking of having children one day or you're currently pregnant, this documentary is a must see!!! I can't stress that enough. Whether you're interested in natural birth or not, it's extremely informative and will only make you more confident in what ever choice that you make.
As someone mentioned in the documentary, we spend more time researching the type of car we want to buy than we do about our birth options...and there ARE options, even with medications.
As mentioned before, my plan is go all natural but if things change and I do have to go the route of using medication, I need to know what those medications are.
In all, week 37 was a good one. I spent lots of time with my family doing Christmas festivities and lounging around. I even got my cousin addicted to my new favorite show Sons of Anarchy. Do you watch? The lead character Jax Teller is my new boyfriend in my head. Speaking of boyfriends in my head, I met one of them yesterday - Peter from Real Housewives of Atlanta (you can see the photo on my instagram). On the pregnancy side of things, it's become a challenge more than ever to literally get out of bed. Meaning, trying to roll over and make my way off the bed, especially at night for potty breaks. I'm pretty sure I broke my bed from how heavy I am...I feel so sorry for it every time I climb in. I can literally hear it crying.In all, Grey and I are both doing great and looking forward to locking eyes for the first time. I'm always tired, but I'm Blessed. Just waiting...