Dealing With Miscarriage On Mothers Day

[ photo credit// Late Afternoon ]
I'd been dreading Mothers Day for the past few weeks. When I was in the hospital speaking with the bereavement nurse, she very honestly told me that there are going to be certain milestones and dates that would bother me - my original due date, Mothers Day, Jolie's birthday, etc. This has proven to be true. My husband had been asking me if I wanted to celebrate, but I kept telling him I didn't know how I would feel that day. I would either be extremely positive or extremely depressed. Funny thing is, I told my husband a few months ago, "I have to pregnant again by Mothers Day" - how does a mother with no baby supposed to deal on that day? The impossible.This time last year, I was imagining what Mothers Day would be like in 2012. I imagined having my baby in my arms - very different than what this year actually was.

During church service, all mothers were asked to stand up to receive roses. I sat down, until my mom looked at me and said "...you're a mother, stand up". I stood up and took my rose, a few of my church members who know of my situation smiled at me. Throughout the day, I received the sweetest messages from some of my family and friends. They wished me a Happy Mothers Day, said sweet things about Jolie and encouraged me so much. I was pleasantly surprised. My Aunt Marcy in particular had some really nice things to say. I felt like my heart was going to explode. So much love! I'm truly Blessed.

On this Mothers Day, I felt for all those Mothers with empty arms, the individuals who may have lost their mothers, and the women struggling with infertility who want to become mothers so badly. It's such a great occasion but can be extremely painful for some. If you fall in any other those categories - please stay encouraged.

To all the mothers out there, I didn't post yesterday, so I'm late in wishing you A Happy Mothers Day and Happy Mommy-To Be Day to my awesome blogger friend Ro!!!

It turned out not to be a depressing day for me at all. I did tear up thinking about Jolie, but things in my life are taking a turn for the better. I randomly got some great and unexpected news that has taken me out of my funk and continues to show me that putting all my Faith in God is the best thing to do. Let Go and Let God...and if all else fails, eat some ice-cream! I mean...go for a walk :)

Take Care, Jin

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