20.2: hormones and weird dreams

I had the weirdest dream(s) this morning.
My husband and I were sitting up in bed staring at my belly (like we always do) but we could see the baby despite it still being in my belly. Meaning, the baby was so close to the surface of my skin, that we could see it's imprint. We could make out it's head, legs, arms, everything - it was gross and scary, yet so fasinating at the same time.
In the next minutes ( I don't know if this was the same dream or not ), I gave birth to a chunky and oh so cute baby boy. He was my complexion and had tons of curly, jet black hair. Granted, this entire time I've been pregnant, I've been convinced that I'm going to have a son - so maybe this is a preview to the ultrasound test on Saturday. Unlike my husband, it wasn't important for me to find out what sex the baby is, but now that we've agreed to find out, I'm counting down the days - I just know I'm going to cry, whether it's a boy or girl - I'm just so happy to be blessed with the gift of motherhood.

Speaking of crying, my hormones have been out of this world since I've been pregnant. Earlier this year (prior to the surprise of finding out I was expecting), I would cry just about everyday for no reason, there was always something wrong. The sky was too gray, there was too much snow outside, I missed living in Florida, I was too broke, I was too fat - everything was wrong. Once I found out I was pregnant it all made sense,lol.

Even now just hitting the 5 month mark, it's still pretty mad. I get emotional about EVERYTHING and despite trying to change my attitude, it's hard to get out that space once I'm there. My poor husband can never do anything to calm me down and tries to be understanding as possible - but sometimes he gets frustrated because I stress myself out which isn't good for me or Baby. I'm trying my hardest to do better.I feel incredibly lazy today. So lazy that I opted to sit in my cubicle and eat lunch as opposed to walking to the lunch room. In my defense, the lunch room is far - everyone thinks so, it takes like half an hour to get there. I'm fine, right in my cubicle - it takes no time to get there.