17.1: Heartbeat

Dear Addi,

Daddy and I finally got to hear your heartbeat yesterday. We really wanted to hear it at the previous appointment, but the nurse told us that it would be too faint and we'd barely hear anything. I was so disappointed to have to wait another month, but it was well worth it. Speaking of wait...we had to wait a whole hour for the nurse to call us in at the doctors office yesterday - I was about to lose it! What's the point of making an appointment? Besides, I knew I had to give blood and the anticipation was killing me.

Finally we were called in and the woman asked if I wanted to do blood work prior to seeing the doctor, or if I wanted to make another appointment. Daddy and I agreed that I should get it out the way, so I made the walk of doom to the lab and sat in the chair. Daddy has to hold my hand every time I give blood - I hate needles! The nurse couldn't find my vein and when she finally did, I started pulling my arm away and then she couldn't find it anymore, lol. She went over to my right arm and found one and I bit Daddy on the hand as she stuck the needle in my vein, lol - he was very mad at me...I promise I didn't mean to bite that hard.

After that nightmare was over, we headed back to the examination room where as usually your dad scared the nurse as she opened the door. Everytime we go for a check up he messes with her - but at least she knows she'll be entertained whenever we're there :)

As usual, she pressed down around my lower abdomen to find you and make sure you're okay - I hate this part, it's very umcomfortable...and you don't seem to like it much either. Daddy yelled out, "Don't hurt me" in a baby voice pretending to be you...Nurse Carolina thought that was hilarious.

All of a sudden she rubbed some gel on my tummy and started moving this weird little thing around that area. We started hearing some weird noises and it finally clicked in my head what was happening. She kept moving the machine and seemed like it was taking her forever you find you. I had to be about two minutes, but it felt like two hours. Being the paranoid individual that I am, of course I started panicking in my mind and assumed that something was wrong and started playing some weird and heartbreaking scenarios in my head. Then - there you were with a perfect heartbeat going at the right pace. In my mind I kept thinking, "Oooooh God, there's really a person in there...this is real".

Being pregnant is a little strange for me. Of course I am happy and beyond excited to hold you in my arms, but my mind still can't comprehend that this is really happening and that you're a real person...or that you're growing inside of me. Over the weekend Daddy took me shopping for some maternity pants, things kind of started hitting me in the dressing room when I stopped to think about what I was doing...but to hear your heartbeat was surreal and beautiful.

Can't wait to meet you Addi.